What I Want in 2017

a-year-go

I’m not much of a New Year’s Resolutions type of girl. Never really have been. I figure, if you want to make a change, the time is now.

But things happen.

We get older. Life gets … more. More busy. More difficult. More complicated. More. Just more.

When you’re faced with more, and more, and more, suddenly setting a goal for change in the new year becomes … attractive.

As I’ve written about previously, I lost who I thought was a really good friend in 2015. I had the horrid experience of a student dying in 2013. I became a mother again in 2015 to a child who is, in every aspect of the word, a healing gift from Above. I’ve done a lot of growing in the last year, and I’ve come to believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, in life occurs accidentally.

I am who I am. I am a fierce thinker. I get anxious. I get upset. I make bad decisions, ones that I look back at later and wonder what the hell.

I go through dark spaces. Ohhhhh how I hate those dark spaces.

I don’t feel like a normal person a lot of the time. I’m so sensitive. And no one talks about sensitivity. So it’s something I handle on my own.

I question everything. I question myself, I question others, I question Life.

So in 2017 here’s what I want.

I want acceptance. I will accept myself. I will accept others.

I want tolerance. I will be tolerant. I will hold others to a standard of tolerance.

I want understanding. I will be understanding. I expect understanding.

I want to be committed to me. I will care about ME. I will take care of ME. Whether this means making myself look pretty one day, sleeping an extra hour the next day, making sure that I get to the studio on the appointed days, or … I will do it.

I want truth. I will speak the truth. I will listen to the truth. I will see the truth. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

And I want to write. I want to write when it’s easy, when it’s hard, when it’s boring, when it’s not. I just want to write.

The reality is, 2017 is upon us. It’s coming whether I’m ready or not. Maybe the question should be, is 2017 ready for me?

2017

 

 

 

 

 

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